Elvis Found Alive After 47 Years!

With the epitome of trash journalism, The National Enquirer, leading the charge, America was treated to thousands of ‘sightings’ of the King for years after his untimely death 47 years ago. If it wasn’t a 7Eleven in Joliet Illinois, it was a quickie wedding chapel in Las Vegas. Name any town in America where people are perpetually bored, drunk, delusional etc. (anywhere in the Midwest, come to think of it), Elvis Presley was seen there. It seemed the world couldn’t bear the fact he was dead and was ready to believe anything to reassure themselves that “The Pelvis” was still sitting in the Jungle Room in Graceland tinkering on a grand piano and ahuhhing quietly to himself.

Enter Technology, Stage Left

But in November this year, Elvis Presley will take to the London Stage and perform. He’ll sing and jive to all his hits, invoking misty older-generation eyes whilst letting a newer generation understand what all the fuss was about.

The Elvis Evolution is a show that’s a cocktail of AI, holographic tech, digitally remastered audio and thousands of photographs and videos which the Elvis Estate has been happy to provide.

Of course, it had to be a British company staging this, didn’t it? There’s nothing the Brits love more (except complaining about the weather and the government and their pathetic cricket team and and and…) than putting one over the Yanks. “Ah yes, my dear fellows. You may have produced Elvis, but you didn’t have the chops to bring him back, did you? Consider this to be a spot of revenge for stealing our language, the tune for your national anthem, rugby football etc.”

Just to rub it in, the show will also go to Las Vegas. Probably Berlin and Paris as well.

So watch this space come November. Or any other space that covers the story honestly, and see how this show pans out. Personally I can’t wait. I never believed he was dead.

It seems appropriate to end this piece with a message to the (Ahem, British) company responsible, Layered Reality:

Thank you. Thank you very much.

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