GPS Introduces Cunning New Warfare to Conflict Zone. Forbidden Love

From those wonderful folk who brought you a fish famine, a career destroyer and hundreds of near midair collisions. A whole new exciting adventure that invites you to fulfil your most secret dreams of the amorous kind.

Because the disruption of GPS by the Israeli military in the southern Lebanon region is now playing havoc with dating sites such as Tinder and Omar. The confusion arises from locations getting scrambled. Lebanese men and women looking for love are catching an eyeful of prospects on their apps – of Israeli men and women. And vice versa in Israel. Aside from the fact neither party are likely to visit the other’s country anytime soon (unless they’re in combat gear), the simple truth is it’s illegal for Lebanese citizens to have contact with Israelis. It has been for a long time.

You couldn’t script this stuff

Whilst on the subject of irony, there are few communities in the world with as high a personal vanity rating as Lebanon and Israel. Both believe they are the most beautiful human specimens on the planet. Then there’s the first rule in the rituals of human attraction. The most alluring and desirable members of the opposite sex tend to be the ones that are unavailable.  Put these two issues together and it makes you think that this new GPS problem is the universe having a good laugh.  

So far, the GPS disruption by the Israeli military has successfully prevented fisherman from catching fish. It has put commercial drone photography on hold indefinitely. Overflying aircraft are having some nervous moments because of it . And now, GPS has dangled forbidden love in front of, well, whoever is looking for a partner.

If it had been half as effective in the job it was meant to do, maybe the conflict would be over by now.  

The current Palestinian crisis is terrifying and unconscionable. Please treat this article only as commentary for the absurdist value of the subject.

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