This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, Honey!

LA residents demonstrate why humans don’t deserve nice things.

• People have been attacking, robbing, and defecating in Hollywood’s delivery robots.

Over the course of the past year, people have been attacking delivery robots across the U.S., with the most recent ones being in LA where residents attacked and robbed the little machines, among other… things.

“This is why we can’t have nice things, darling. Because you break them, I had to take them away.” Yes, I’m quoting Taylor Swift. Sue Me. If the lyrics fit…

Come on, take a look at the video below and tell me I’m wrong:

Some people across LA were not attacking, not robbing, but (excuse my language) possibly answering Mother Nature’s second call in the delivery robots. I mean I knew LA people are built differently, but never realized some were missing important parts like common sense and empathy.

They were capable of empathizing with the Mars rover, Opportunity, but not with his earth-bound cousin. I get that the little mechanic laborers don’t say devastatingly beautiful and tragically nice things like “My battery is low and it’s getting dark” before they are lost forever but come on…

Stop looking at me like that. I’m not crazy for personifying a hunk of metal. It has a job, alright! And it’s damn good at it too! That’s more than what I can say about some people I personally know.

If I’m being quite frank with you, anyone who violates these little guys would do the same to customer service staff if they had a get-out-of-jail-free card, or at least get-out-of-that-establishment-in-one-piece card. And you can’t convince me otherwise.

They are just doing what they were created to do! They’re not hurting anybody!

Okay. Okay. I’m calm.

Thing is, even if you don’t see them as some type of “creatures,” they were created by somebody out there. They help someone out there in their business. They deliver crucial stuff to someone out there.

If you don’t feel sorry for such fancy and nice things, I’m sure you’ll feel with your fellow humans, right? RIGHT?

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